al-Hazred : : projekt-blog

SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME OH GOD THE SHAME

Having used the Mac all Christmas (visiting parents, not taking two laptops for the sake of it, need the Apple to work over the holiday), I just got home and within ten minutes of firing up my beloved PC laptop, I did knowingly, and flagrantly:

* Paw at the track pad with two fingers, attempting an Apple scroll in full public view

* Press two fingers on the pad and click upon the left mouse button to attempt a right-click, without a current license

* With malice of forethought, I did viciously Hit ALT-T in Firefox to open a new tab, clawing for the absent Apple-key

I sicken myself.

I am going to take myself outside and have a very stern drink and a cigarette and think about what I've done.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

HANGING'S TOO GOOD FOR ME!

(the wife is disgusted and thinks I'm going to start listening to Damien Rice, apparently)

A first-hand portrayal of the events on the plane to Detroit that's all over the news:

Over Detroit Skies

like the title doesn't stink of evocative ghost-written memoirs enough, you have to read it to really appreciate the level to which the media wants to sell us a narrative, rather than a news piece.

... which people are, of course, swallowing hook, line and sinker.

Can't wait for the movie!

• 17:19 @hungrymoon I think there is a similar Catcher in the Rye one. #
• 17:22 Going to see catrobatics at the Moscow Cat Theatre thingy in Brighton Beach at 6. I need to keep Sarah from stealing them all. #
• 18:02 There are sure a lot of children at this performance show circus about cats. I thought this was high art for adults! Sarah lied to me! #
• 19:33 Those cats sure stayed still and didn't cut anyone for making them do tricks! Also, there were two poodles and POODLES ARE NOT CATS! #

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Originally published at Elizabeth Genco. You can comment here or there.

The day after Christmas, I happily engaged in what can arguably be considered a new American holiday tradition: reading a Dan Brown novel in one sitting. My good friend Ron gave me a copy of The Lost Symbol back when he gifted me with The Red Book, and it’s been sitting on the stack ever since, taunting me.

I’ll admit that I wanted to like it, and I wasn’t disappointed. You can go all “You’re no William Faulkner!” on Dan Brown all you want, but he’s not trying to be Faulkner (as he admits himself right here) and I have to give him a lot of credit for crafting a fairly complex story/puzzle-line wherein I found myself deliberately suspending disbelief, oh, maybe one time.

I know some peeps’ jaws will drop at that - Wiersema, I’m lookin’ at you! - and that’s fair, but what can I say… I haven’t read Red Dragon and I will totally admit that I have a tendency to want to fall into a story trance, especially when I’m favorably predisposed, so it takes a lot to shake me out of it.

(Did I mention that I didn’t see the ending of The Sixth Sense coming either? *laugh*)

And it will come as no surprise that the Ancient Mysteries thing gets bonus points with me, as did the Divine Feminine/Sacred Marriage thing in the last go-round. Regardless of whether the guy set out to sell 80 frillion books or not, I don’t know anyone else who has done quite as much to shine a light on certain unfairly maligned spiritual traditions I could name. Nor could I find any glaring philosophical errors (as opposed to nitpicking, which I have no interest in), and believe me, I looked. I can see why Mitch really liked it.

Anyway. None of that is to say that the book is without its flaws, of course. For example, every 30 pages or so I found myself thinking of Star Trek, of all things. Why, you ask?

“My God!”
[...]
My God…
[...]
“My GOD NO!”

“You know what this means,” said Leland, after I shouted “My GOD MAN!” for the zillionth time, somewhere around page 350. (Yes, I talk back to authors in the margins of my books, too.)

“What’s that?”

“Drinking game.”

I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I have to admit, the idea amuses me. So without further ado, here it is…

The Lost Symbol Drinking Game (Respectable Lightweight’s version)
(Please allow 3 hours for this game.)

1. Pour yourself a glass of your favorite libation. (I suggest a nice Riesling, cider, or high-end scotch, or of course you can go with a nice tall glass of Paisano if you’re my mom.)

2. Settle in with Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol.

3. When you come across either the following, take a sip. (Hey, this is a family blog.)

• “What the hell?!”
• “My God!” (and its derivatives)

4. Optional: Shout out “My God Man!” in your best McCoy voice every time you come across the phrase “My God”

Please drink responsibly.

• 11:55 @sassbutt hahahahaha Sarah was saying the same thing on Thursday. #
• 12:02 Why hasn't Assylum ripped off Harry Potter yet? No "Howard Porter and the Room of Mystery" or "Howard Porter and the Philosophy Gem" yet! #

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Anything that Kirsten posts in the next ten minutes or so is a lie.

That is all.

Forum quote regarding the "terrorist" incident:

"Maybe he just realised he was going to be in Detroit and decided to end it all"

TERROR TERROR TERROR TERROR BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB

Just a quick preview of what you're about to see in the media for the next six months.

Or, to put it another way: Another hapless would-be bomber fails to hurt anyone and gets caught and nobody gives a wet slap.

Plus, as my wife points out, he was flying into DETROIT. If a plane exploded over Detroit, the locals would only notice that it was slightly warmer for a while, it already looks like it's been bombed.

British-born bombers really miss the point... That's like when that guy tried to set his car on fire and drive it into a Scottish airport. An airport full of pasty Scots waiting to catch budget flights to Spain. These people were going to burn anyway.

The only thing these feckless amateur "terrorists" successfully do is make my bird's flights more of a nuisance due to reactionary security theatre.

Of course, this will give politicians the opportunity to protect the living daylights out of us.

Hurraaaaaay.

• 21:39 Wad of cash shoved into my coat pocket = my parents knowing what I love best for the holidays. #

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Suzuki is very helpful when it comes to cooking.



Well, usually...



Happy 25th of December, my tiny little monkeys.

Love,

b

• 18:46 Cousin-in-law plotting against brother-in-law during a snowball fight: "I want to get him in the hotdog!" (dedicated to @sassbutt). #

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• 17:11 Sarah will either appreciate or admonish that I did not buy her this there is no middle road here. twitpic.com/uusm9 #
• 19:08 @bronxelf I also saw "The World of Warcraft and Philosophy," took a picture, was about to post THAT, then realized it was already beat. #
• 19:39 @calieber A single drop of sap poured out for all those lost in the wars. #

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I keep seeing people posting messages on Facebook like this: "They are taking Christ out of Christmas!" Um, question for all of you who've posted such messages...who are "they"? Atheists? Agnostics? Cause my husband is the former, I am the latter, and both of us really don't give a shit what holiday you celebrate and what you call it.

Though, if you get really bitchy, I will point out that Christmas' date is based on pagan holidays, the tree and other traditions are based on pagan traditions and symbols, and -- oh yes, my favorite -- the X in Xmas is based on the Greek symbol for Christ.

So, in other words, the only "they" who are trying to revise Christmas seem to be the Christians themselves.

Morning begins with mom knocking the door, then immediately opening it and starting a conversation, waking us up (then literally just backs out, closes the door and walks off as I complain at her rudeness)...

Dad opens a parcel addressed to me (but at their address), realises it's for me, then tell me what it is, thus spoiling the surprise Kirsten planned to be her Christmas present to me, leaving her frustrated and upset...

Corben may have swine-flu and, in conjunction with my trick-shoulder (which is in a bad way after dragging huge present-laden bags up-country yesterday) wakes me up every 1-2 hours last night and covers most of us in vomit on various occasions...

Sitting in the dining room, talking to Kirsten on MSN because I have to work and she has to study and the rest of the house is not particularly conducive to either...

Yep, it's Christmas with my family!

I say all of this with a wry smile - it's heavy-going, but it's good to be with my family, no matter what they're like, and better still to have Kirsten here, and get to see in Christmas with the nipper.

I'd love to pretend this wasn't how they advertised adulthood in the brochure, but I'm from the midlands, where this is considered the deluxe package :)

hoooooboy :)

A few nights ago I looked at my side table and realized that it was kinda a nice microcosm of my life:



First, there's a pile of books on the left that's about a foot high. Then, on the table, we have...



Stingray Sam is the latest movie by The Billy Nayer show / Cory McAbee, the geniuses behind The American Astronaut. YOU MUST FIND IT AND WATCH IT. You will not regret it. And HERE ARE THE FIRST TWO OF SIX EPISODES AVAILABLE FOR FREE STREAMING / DOWNLOADING.



A plastic Green Lantern ring. I've been buying these little 99 cent gems (from every color of the Lantern Spectrum) and giving them out to friends.



My father taught me that you should always have on you something that can make fire. I've found that the more patriotic the lighter, the less likely it is to be stolen. Don't ask me...



A vinyl, stylized King Ghidorah toy that arrived from eBay that day. SHUT UP KING GHIDORAH IS THE BEST DAIKAIJU.



The Screaming Head of Elian Gonzalez was cut from a magazine many years ago and is taped to the chest of visitors to our home that do things like make a groan-worthy grandpa joke or perhaps commit a hilarious party foul. When he cannot be found, Iron McDowell is available to glaring, pointing, and shaming.



Finally, I found for 15 dollars, via my strange eBay searches, a mis-labeled relic of Saint John Neumann. I haven't busted out the microscope yet to see if I can tell if it's fabric or something else. It isn't bone or it would say OSS. at the start of his name. My brother Jason says that the B. at the start of his name (hidden in this shot) means this was from before he was beatified.

So yeah. That's me, kids.

Show me a shot of something that defines YOU.

Love,

b

PS -

• 10:14 How did this just shift from $500 under budget to $100 over budget. ARGH. #
• 10:18 @sassbutt That's probably what paternity suits are for. And women in the military aren't allowed to get pregnant. This it them enforcing it. #
• 10:20 @sassbutt And this isn't new, too. When signing up for the military, women are told those rules/regulations. I'm not sure they're wrong. #
• 10:44 @griph I think it moved from being something not allowed to something they'll now court martial you over since people ignored the rule. #
• 10:46 @griph @sassbutt That said it sounds like they're backing off doing it anyway. Back to just really stern warnings! bit.ly/5tmPTA #
• 11:28 @griph Exactly. I think the general's concern was people not taking the non-permanent-record reprimands that seriously. But hey all better. #
• 11:54 @floydiandroid Oh god... the memories. I LOVE THE WORD "POP" TOO! #
• 13:30 @schmiss WHy DOSE TEH PRSDANT CAL THIS BUTFAC HE SHOUDL STPO BEIN SOCLIST. BURTH CERKTIFICKA #
• 13:59 @schmiss Is it obvious that I'm looking forward to any outrage over a dopey phonecall? #
• 14:00 @schmiss I own the same bodysuit. GOD DAMNIT. #
• 15:57 @lady_bluetooth It's not that Republicans are attacking him NOW, it's that they were attacking him THEM and those ads still exist. #gopfail #
• 16:37 I think we've officially seen the worst "don't play with fireworks" PSA now. Thanks, Dutch! www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwXGxS4veJE #
• 16:39 @lady_bluetooth Well then I have nothing snarky to contribute! CONTINUE EATING YOUR OWN GOP. #
• 16:58 Hey @griph what's the deal with this. Is he trying to apologize for the Wanted movie? www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0lwLB-xAVw #
• 17:04 Yeah I may just have to see this movie: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKjycnhKxY4 #
• 19:25 Sarah is out drinking with @sassbutt, and thus I miss her, then again I just ordered chicken vindaloo and some naan so oh yeah good times. #
• 22:10 @richgone I think the particular storyline is done. I don't know much about the series itself. #

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Poll #1502028 Color Me BAD
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

I am dying my hair tonight. What color will it be?

• 10:46 #makingthelogobigger #
• 10:47 @floydiandroid Nice! Now he needs to share where he got such a thing. #
• 11:00 @floydiandroid It looks eyeglasses repair friendly, too! I'm still trying to remember where I put the xacto saber Carl got me forever ago. #
• 11:29 @sassbutt Blankets is awesome. You'd like Fun Home, and Dragonslippers is good but MISERABLE. You clearly need to visit my comic wall again. #
• 11:37 Mr. Rhode Island decides to be all speechy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m8AUUhOB0U #
• 13:15 @sassbutt I WAS BORED AND CLICKED YOUR PAGE. #
• 13:50 @Ladypolitik Yeah TPM reuploaded it, but truncated it more. #
• 14:03 Your important message for the day, Liberals. Thank you, Gawker! bit.ly/6RuPs3 #
• 14:10 @schmiss Or a cheery soundtrack! www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfout_rgPSA #
• 16:41 @sassbutt You can also get a court martial from the male half of that, too. So when Officer Bob knocks up Officer Betty, they're both out. #
• 16:49 I like Chrome OS X, but it has such odd situational bugs. Widgets and such aren't caught up to it. #

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Yes, Christmas is almost here.

Yes, it's likely too late to get any of these things in time to make them into holiday gifts for your friends.

WHO GIVES A SHIT? BUY SOME FUCKING ART.

These are artists who need to sell their work, not just for money but to help spread word-of-mouth for their products.

This isn't just a holiday season thing, it's something that will matter to them all year, and something that can get you some awesome shit for you or friends or family.

As of this post here, the following hand-made items are described and detailed and for sale in THE BIG SHILL ENTRY

:

None of these people would object to you buying so much as a single two-dollar item from them.

If you have NO dollars to spend, please comment on art you like and spread the word.

Do something for an artist and it's likely their art will do something for you.

Support creativity.

Love,

benjamin